How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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