There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

im not black, im Joseph Kony

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

God is real.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops