How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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