Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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