What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what are three short words? i a am

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops