Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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George W. Bush

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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Alchohol.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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