Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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25

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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what did the man say to his wife? I love you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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