A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Are you black? Kill yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops