what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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I have an idea! You leave.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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13 =B you just learned something

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops