why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Neither have I

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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