Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the man sad His got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How long is a china man?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops