Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops