Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

When I became a WoMan, no, its a nice subject, I do not mind at all.

Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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