what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

Knock Knock the door's open, come in

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Whats the difference between males and females? fe

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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