What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what are three short words? i a am

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops