I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Your're racist.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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