Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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I shot a bitch.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Justin Bieber

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops