Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

What do you call 4 black guys in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat. What do you call a fat black guy in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat Chunky.

Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

women's rights.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

A Mormon walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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