what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops