Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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