Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Your mums a potato

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What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops