- Anti Joke

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

Psychics.

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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