Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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the lemon was sweet.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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