What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Penis

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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