What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

thumb_up thumb_down -39

FUCK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops