With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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