My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops