How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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