What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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