Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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