If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops