I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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