So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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the story of the two kings, bourne and brendan They were numbercrunching hardcore one night in the hills of arathi basin when the mailbrethren gave them a message from the almighty rogue of orgimar. This rogue challenged the two kings, codenames as follows: bourne (hunt cair) and brendan (worgensRsick). obviously bourne was a ret pally and brendan was a holy priest, representing the alliance faction because they dont belive in the corrupt (actual quote from J3b, "the kitty slayer tauren"). The duel would take place in the arena of hyjal, a place where heat blows from below, and sucks hard. Hyjal was once a place where the almighty druids had meetings of total epicness and made love in the flowers. Of course, taurens were very attracted to the mentally ill cows, and created j3b's character, foulmeat. When the two kings arrived, the rogue was actually in stealth, a goblin subtley rogue of vast strength and agil. His resil rating was at an astonishing 89k rating. He made n00bs spooge over their keyboards. The epic duel began when the rogue sapped both kings and ambushed bourne. Bourne legacy was hurt badly and had 15% health. Brendan's step brother came in and surprised attacked the rogue and took him to half health. his name was dalyquestsbedone. But all of a sudden, the world of azeroth was sucked in by the depths of the maelastrom of deathwing, and everyone died. All the players relogged and did it all over again. ˜´??

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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what do you do when you see a injured black man screaming in pain rolling on the ground assist him or call 911 depending how severe the injury is

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In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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