so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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