Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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