Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Turkeys are obese

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops