What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops