How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

joe galasso from plainview ny

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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