How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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