Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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