Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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hey justin

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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