A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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