Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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TOP KEK

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops