A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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why was the cat black it was a black cat

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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woman's lacrosse

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops