Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops