While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops