roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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NEVER

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

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poop.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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