You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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