What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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