- Anti Joke

PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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