Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Knock knock come in.

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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