I had friends on the Death Star.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops