How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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