What happened to the twins? 9/11

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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it was all Tagart

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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