What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops