Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

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Why the did black man climb the ladder? To get on the roof of the building to install a satellite dish.

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How do you make a priest cry? ... You kill his family

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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a skinny sumo wrestler

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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