Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

800 people died last year. end of story

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...