/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

no really what are ur names?

cancer

yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

Dane Cook makes a joke.

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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